Being a mum can feel really lonely sometimes. It’s ironic; that you can spend so much time attached to a little person and still feel so alone! The monotony of day to day tasks can get really tiresome, really quickly.
It’s very important to acknowledge whatever feelings you are having as part of your experience of becoming, or being a mum. Especially the negative ones. Don’t feel ashamed for having these, it’s all part of the experience, and I dare say that most mums go through a negative patch at some point.
You need to know that you are not alone when it comes to these feelings, even though it might feel like you are. So many mums have felt exactly the same way that you do now, and many more will do in the future. It’s important to know that a listening ear is always out there, whether it’s a friend, partner or a professional from an organisation like https://www.panda.org.au
You might feel like you’re alone, but please know that you’re not!
If it seems like everyone else’s baby is sleeping better, feeding better, and reaching milestones faster, you are not alone. Just know that your baby is wonderful and amazing and you MADE them!! You are the best mum for your baby, and nobody knows them, nor what they need like you do.
You are not alone. If you feel like every other mum seems to have her life together but you feel like you’re falling apart. Other mums might seem to have bodies that have bounced back after pregnancy, their hair and nails are always immaculately done, and they always seem to be bright and chirpy. Just know that appearances are often not reality, and some people are better at hiding their realities than others. You are not alone in thinking they’ve got things sorted, but remember that is simply your perception and they may be thinking the same about you!
If you are tired, stressed out, emotional and frustrated, you are not alone. You may feel like you want to burst into tears every ten seconds or perhaps tear your hair out or punch a hole in the wall. If you think you have no idea about how to do this parenting thing, you are most certainly not alone.
If you feel guilty for taking time for yourself, guilty for going back to work, or for not working, or guilty for not being 100% present for your child all the time, you are not alone.
Support is out there
If you find it hard to ask for help because you think that you should be able to do it all yourself, you are not alone. You’ve no doubt heard the saying ‘it takes a village to raise a child’. In modern society, there aren’t many mums who have a village ready to go to rely on for support. You often have to bring together your own village, of mum friends, neighbours or mums from your mother’s group. This might just be instrumental to your own health and well-being. It’s not only ok to ask for help, it’s imperative for your well-being, and the well-being of your family. A happy mum makes a happy family!
If you’re having more than just a bad day, or if you want to talk to a professional, there are organisations in Australia that are set up to help you.
Pregnancy, birth and baby offer non-judgemental emotional support during pregnancy and parenting for when you’re feeling anxious or overwhelmed.
Beyond blue also offers phone line, online chat, email and forum services for whenever you feel like you need to share the load. Their website also has a whole host of information about the different developmental stages that children go through.
PANDA (Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Australia) has been specifically set up to help mums with depression and anxiety. They offer a National helpline, online forums and support groups in your area.
You’re an amazing mum and you don’t have to be alone on this journey. Your feelings are valid and you are not alone in experiencing them. Reach out to someone today, and be kind to yourself, you made a human after all. xx